You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
