no you cant smoke seaweed
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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