he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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