i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
