I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You need a sexual gate keeper
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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