i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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