Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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