this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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