Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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