"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
