Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.

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  (248): My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla. http://tfl.nu/zjhc
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (2600)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.

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  (724): i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall. http://tfl.nu/3lmu
  Replies (12) Good night (7129) Bad night (910)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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  (207): I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well http://tfl.nu/bwmv
  Replies (42) Good night (1053) Bad night (6464)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

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  (727): Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick http://tfl.nu/5e6v
  Replies (17) Good night (1149) Bad night (10092)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?

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  (801): On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/cd3c
  Replies (10) Good night (3160) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night

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  (818): Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night http://tfl.nu/1iuj
  Replies (6) Good night (962) Bad night (1850)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever

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  (715): All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever http://tfl.nu/1qjr
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Is that weird?

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  (508): We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am? (913): Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/18nc
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (519)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine

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  (440): when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine http://tfl.nu/xy6d
  Replies (7) Good night (1638) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.

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  (706): Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one? (1-706): You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome. http://tfl.nu/97og
  Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  How was the party last night?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.

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  (386): How was the party last night? (918): I'm dangerously close to shitting myself. http://tfl.nu/f0x1
  Replies (3) Good night (570) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (27): View more from South Africa

  You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.

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  (27): You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in. http://tfl.nu/09ev
  Replies (5) Good night (764) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.

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  (412): Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it. http://tfl.nu/10d1
  Replies (6) Good night (1184) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out

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  (425): Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out http://tfl.nu/jvnh
  Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.

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  (765): I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community. http://tfl.nu/6jel
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (320)

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