Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
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I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.