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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been sleeping iwht ***

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Nooo

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb

  (816): View more from Missouri

  And then hit her in the face with a shovel

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me

  Fav 2 1382 783

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• (408): View more from California

  I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate

  Fav 15 2156 3609

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

  Fav 6 4164 1390

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.

  Fav 6 2619 2063

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  It's official drugs can't kill me

  Fav 13 2363 1084

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.

  Fav 10 2360 970

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• (607): View more from New York

  I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.

  Fav 6 597 1055

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.

  Fav 1 887 492

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.

  Fav 1 478 279

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• (716): View more from New York

  It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged

  Fav 3 215 447

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?

  (360): View more from Washington

  EPT or First Response?

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