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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know but we should still do that

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"

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• (281): View more from Texas

  thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"

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• (254): View more from Texas

  The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?

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