Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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