I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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