R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
