I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize