is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
