Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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