you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
