your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I didn't shave. On purpose
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
