I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize