All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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