I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
