I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
