Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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