So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
