loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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