in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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