I could make wine with my vomit
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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