Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
