we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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