i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize