I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
