her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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