I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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