we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
