seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
