"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
