he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize