They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
