She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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