hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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