At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
