so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
