pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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