I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
