I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
