Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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