I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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