this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
