Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
