dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
