oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
