Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize