There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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