Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
