he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
