i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
