Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
