ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i think i just lost a toe
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
