Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
