It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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