if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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