This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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